Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
