Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
