there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Mom said you looked used
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
