I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
