I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Is it because I queefed?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
