dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
