Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
