Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize