Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
