NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
