I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
