is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
