so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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