You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Come share oat with me in your robe
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize