ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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