It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
