You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize