People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
