are you still at the devil's house?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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