I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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