I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize