you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
