No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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