this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
