If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
