So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
