Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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