jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
