Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
