Kareoke will never be a sober sport
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The air taste purple.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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