awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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