You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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