i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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