She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
