mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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