Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
