a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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