Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
