There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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