i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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