Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
