I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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