she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
