please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
