i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
