my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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