We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
