I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
