I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
