These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
