Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
