yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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