Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
