Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
