Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
