see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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