all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
