i think my tv is drunk
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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