thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
