he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize