Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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