I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Couch. On fire.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
