Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm always down for nudity.
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