fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
