I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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